Monday, April 1, 2013
I Once Had a Teddy Bear...
I used to think Teddy had magical powers. When I was alone I used to talk to him...and I swear I could hear him talk back to me also. I would sing to him and would never leave home without him.
Some of my friends had their own Teddies...but none of them were as good or special as MY Teddy. Of course, many of them did not spend as much time or idolize their Teddy as much as I did mine. I thought that made me a better person because I was so attentive and attached. Me and my Teddy could do anything as long as we were together. I was totally terrified of the occasional thought of what would happen if Teddy was taken from me...or what if he changed in his meaning to me?
As I grew up, I started getting irritated that Teddy no longer talked to me. I started realizing that maybe he never really had...that it was all my imagination. My Teddy was becoming more cold and distant to me than what I had perceived my friends feelings for theirs. Amazingly, some of my friends and family started talking more to and about their Teddies as they became adults. They even started telling me what MY Teddy wanted and expected out of me. I became confused.
I started studying the history of Teddy Bears. I found out that they were basically manufactured to make little children behave and have a sense of companionship in life...real or not. I can't remember exactly which day, but one day I simply realized as an adult that Teddy really wasn't what I thought he was. He was just a cold, inanimate object that people made up a lot of stories and legends about. Teddy seemed a good tradition for raising children...but nobody really had a handle on when or how children were supposed to "give up" these stories and fantasies about Teddy. Yet, one day, I just did. I realized that Teddy wasn't real...the other people and earth around me were. I didn't have to carry Teddy around with me anymore to enjoy nature or feel companionship. I suddenly found myself free to work and play without wondering what Teddy thought or if he felt left out.
Many of my friends and family now think I am really strange living life without my Teddy. They were so used to my going everywhere with him...living for him they would say. Most of them still have their Teddies...and they all meet once or more times a week to talk about their Teddies and show their lukewarm devotions, or in some cases more fanatical devotion than when they were children. I sometimes feel left out of such activities...a strange detachment from a majority of my old friends and family because I no longer have a Teddy to share. But the last laugh is on them, because I feel much stronger and have more time for other more important activities than talking to my make believe Teddy. I now know that it is up to ME to take care of myself. I don't waste time on tales of Teddyland where we all will be united with our Teddies in the "next life". This is good for me...to know that life is about me...and the real people around me...right now.