Tuesday, April 19, 2011

My Halfway Heart

(Some of you will not get this at all. This is dedicated to all those who have for whatever reason(s) not been able to follow through with their "soulmate" connection. Perhaps because we weren't ready when that person came into our lives. Maybe because of various forms of cultural barriers that got in the way. Maybe that person was of the same sex. Maybe the person was much older or younger than ourselves. Maybe they were of a different race, religion or culture. Maybe even a distant relative. It is my observation and guess that most people never end up with "the one that got away")

“It is thought a disgrace to love unrequited. But the great will see that true love cannot be unrequited. True love transcends the unworthy object, and dwells and broods on the eternal, and when the poor interposed mask crumbles, it is not sad, but feels rid of so much earth, and feels its independency the surer.”…Ralph Waldo Emerson

I loved you from the moment I saw you, but I could only love you "halfway"
You were my best friend
We understood each other like no one else ever could
I longed for you like I never longed before.
You were the mirror reflection of my soul
When you cried, I cried
When you laughed I laughed
When we touched, it was like touching myself but from the inside out
I always felt like I knew you in a previous life
Perhaps we came from the same tree of life...from some distant path called destiny
Those feelings I could never express, you understood
I never knew loneliness until we were apart the first time
And when we parted for the last time, a part of me died forever

You see...

I chose THEM over you
I chose ME over you
I chose alienation and limitation
I chose rationalization versus truth
I chose conformity over individuality
I chose mediocrity over exceptionality
I chose the safety of rules versus the risk of breaking them
I chose the box versus freedom
I chose my color over yours
I chose my religion over yours
I chose my family over yours
I chose my nationality over yours
I chose to limit my passion versus yield to it
I chose what others wanted for me versus what I wanted
I chose pursuit of money and fame over you
I chose to take instead of give
I chose to die instead of live

I could not bear the risk of loving you
I could not take the rejection of my peers, family and culture
I could not sacrifice them for you, and I knew that would be the price

Now I sit here living...well semi living...with my halfway heart

...Edward Doran 2011

(A late addition since a number of you have wondered...this writ is not necessarily written as "auto biographical". It just COULD have been me:). While most of our hearts probably all yearn for more love and understanding...I am basking in more love and "soul connection" than I probably deserve. )

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