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Today is the first anniversary of my marriage. The relationship began and grew long before the wedding date...but it's still nice to have a special day to commemorate one of life's most important commitments...marriage.
Those who know me know I am probably not the most traditional or romantic guy. I am admittedly hard on relationships because I am quite independent, live according to my own goals and passions, and I guess... I'll just repeat...not too much into "traditions" as a way of life. I also have high expectations of women, because I come from a family of very strong, self sustaining women...and I grew up with them. So...I don’t understand nor am very sensitive to "insecure", dependent, whiny female creatures. What complicates things further is that while "untraditional"...I do tend to be conservative in respect to male and female roles. I think feminism as a "cause" has hurt females in many ways, has caused a lot of confusion for men on how women think and want to be treated...and probably more importantly has been a significant cause of the breakdown of family values. I dont think women should try to be men...nor vice versa. I think when people have children, the best case scenario is to have one of the parents, preferably the mother, focused on raising them and sustaining the home. I think most women want a strong man in their life to bring support, security and comfort...and security for their children. And I think if men can live up to those expectations in a respectful manner, women will normally be true and supportive of them. At the same time, women ARE equal if not superior to men in many ways that are natural and helpful. So hopefully everyone understand that while I dont admire "feminism" as a movement and ideal...I do believe in equality between the sexes. I just support role differences. I preface with all that to say...I think I finally have found the perfect woman for me.
After a number of false starts...and during a time when I was absolutely NOT looking for a long term relationship...this woman walked into my life. I had seen her once across a public room a year before I met...our eyes made contact...and somehow she walked into my life almost a year later. Call it "Gods will", fate, luck...what have you...I'll take it. We had both been divorced almost at the same time two years earlier...and we both had our individual plans and adventures planned ahead. But, when we met...everything changed. We came from different backgrounds (she Latina, Catholic, youngest in her family...me "Gringo", non-Catholic, oldest in my small family), but somehow we connected on what I will call a "spiritual" level...which I also believe shows itself well in intimacy. We talked easily together even in my 90% Spanish and her limited English (which has gotten much better)...and we just melded together quickly and for a long "incubation" period to test the durability and reality of our situation. Now going over 6 years later, I would say we have had few major arguments, have lived through a number of ups and downs together...and weathered them all with our heads held high and integrity in place.
Today, I count myself a lucky man. I have a female partner who has demonstrated unconditional love for me time and time again. She lets me be me, knows she has the freedom to be herself, and we are growing TOGETHER in many ways. Our lives are an adventure together. I don’t recall one day in these many years...even on her worst day...that she hasn’t smiled at me. That smile and warmth you cannot make or buy in a person.
Neither of us is perfect. We both realize each others limitations...and I think the secret is ACCEPTING those limitations and loving even the imperfections. The sooner we learn no one is perfect, the sooner we will find mutually acceptable love.
So...as we prepare to leave for our anniversary night "out on the town"...I send out this message to my wife, and share it with my friends and family who read this blog. Happy Anniversary Bibi! I am learning and loving you more as each year passes.
Love,
Ed
2 comments:
YO Ed and bibi:
A very poignant and well written anniversary note. My congrads to both of you.
I met you shortly after you first came to CR and have valued our friendship. I have admired your keen business sense along with your work ethic. I had always thought that Rico, from old CRS, was quite a resourceful hombre but I believe you have better instincts.
More importantly, I appreciate your including me in your circle of friends. The icing on the cake was when I finally got to know your radiant wife soon after the two of you began seeing each other. She was warm, friendly and quite intelligent....not to mention she put up with my crazy antics and characters that I have adopted during this decade in CR.
Although I have met and known hundreds of men and women in CR during my 35 plus years traveling there, I can count on one hand my closest friends....You and Bibi are two of them.
I'll never forget the look on Bibi's face when I strolled into that corner restaurant in SJ with my clown outfit on. She gave me a hug and accepted my craziness. She is a class act.....but then again, so are you.
Both of you are fortunate to have found a loving relationship. I envy you.
I look forward to being with both of you in the near future. Best of everything and when you two toast a drink next time....don't forget old Circus.
My sincere respect,
Circus Bill
Hola mi dulce Ed, gracias por el Blog que escribiste para mi y por nuestro aniversario, ha sido muy impactante, cuando lo lei anoche quede en shock, esas palabras tan dulces y generosas para referirte a mi y a nuestra relacion. Pero mucho mas lindo cuando publicaste esto para que los amigos y la familia lo vieran.
Todo es asi como tu dices, solo en una cosa no estoy de acuerdo, tu eres un hombre muy ROMANTICO, tu no sabes cuanto lo eres, esa sensibilidad que tienes esta en todo tu ser, tu dulsura y suavidad sale por tu piel. A eso es que me refiero cuando te digo, "eres tan suavecito" por tu romanticismo, eres tan dulce mi amor. Esa es otra de las tantas cosas que me hacen amarte cada dia mas. Eres todo un hombre con la combinacion perfecta de hombria y ternura, macho y dulce a la vez. Eres un hombre maravilloso.
Estoy tambien de acuerdo al problema en algunas mujeres por manejar su movimiento Feminista, para mi es algo que nace dentro del ser de cada mujer, algunas sienten fuertes compitiendo con hombres en cualquier cosa, pero se olvidan de ser mujeres, mujer para mi es la parte suave, el hombre es fuerte y poderoso, nosotras somos suaves y carinosas, asi creo que fue la idea de Dios cuando creo al hombre y la mujer.
Yo tambien me considero una mujer con mucha suerte por haber encontrado al hombre ideal, el Principe Azul de mi suenos de infancia, casi ninguna mujer tiene la suerte de encontrarlo. Fue tan extrano como nos conocimos y luego reencontrarnos, un ano despues, esto, como tu dices puede ser cosas de Dios, el destino, las energias del unvierso, quien sabe. Pero gracias a lo que haya sido, por que soy muy feliz a tu lado.
Como te dije el otro dia, despertarme cada manana a tu lado, poder sentirte y verte, es un regalo que Dios me hace cada dia. No puedo ser mas feliz ni pedir mas a mi suerte.
Gracias mi Ed, gracias por todos los dias de amor que me diste, das y daras, yo espero devolver en igual cantidad de amor para ti, gracias por tu paciencia a veces cuando me pongo necia, gracias por entenderme como mujer que soy, gracias por valorarme como lo haces, gracias por hacerme sentir que soy util e importante, gracias por darme libertad, gracias por amarme.
Te amo Ed, nunca me cansare de decirte lo mucho que te amo. Gracias.
Bibiana Riveros Ramirez
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